Abandoned

The scream is stuck behind my collarbone
A choke of frustration and anger
I wonder why you didn’t love
How you looked into the eyes of such a little girl
And lied
You failed me when I needed you
Spit at me when you were all I needed
Pushed me away because of your embarrassment
How could you abandon your daughter
Now I have no one
Fuck you then

Misunderstood

It isn’t even the money
Although in truth that did upset me
But the fact that here I stay
Taking on this full responsibility
Living my life in order to support you
Caring for your full grown seed
Fighting just to breathe
While you waste away everything
Its the fact that I am so sad I do not eat
And you have not even noticed

I taste it now
Divorce is bitter

Heartbeats

A thousand untold heartbeats
Caught in this heart of mine
All of them surrendered just for you
But away you flew on Satan’s wings
To steal away from me everything
My heartbeats just weren’t enough it seems

Constant lies and never ending sadness
Is what remains of my beating heart

Shut the door when you go

You walk away
Through stormy nights
Seeking refuge with those like you
But you fail to understand my plight
Showing me your angry attitude
I have no one to take away the pain
No one cares about my soul
The torment falls in unrelenting rain
Lines show from the years of strain
You have those that care for you
That help to dry away your tears
I have those that hate me
That have failed to care throughout the years

Run away to those that adore you
Those that consider you a king
Here I will faithfully remain
To wash away your bloody stains

Suffocation

I have forgotten how to breathe
To inhale the sweet smells of spring
To ride on eagles wings
To take simple pleasure in everything
I lack the time to find a smile
Or enjoy the comfort of your arms
I roam around in listless wonder
Straying into many treacherous storms

But yet my sacriafices that leave me this way
Never seem enough for you
The screaming simply continues on
To envelope all my meaning and truth
What are all these sacrifices for
If not to make you a stronger you

And so slowly I suffocate
Gaging on your intoxicating scent
Wishing you could see my pain
And give me a break just for one day

Destroyed

Two little words slipped out my mouth
Stop Please
But you continued to proceed
To rape away my hopes and dreams
To shatter everything that makes me me
And so I lay naked by your feet
My heart and soul torn out
Squished under your heavy weight
Left here forever to rot and decay

Failing You

I question your purity at times
I wonder how you can speak such lies
Regret the temptations that plague your soul
Think of you as not really whole
A stranger in this house you seem
On your own not part of our team
You always tend to lack the sympathy
Refusing to recognize empathy

It seems that I have made you this way
Added too much responsibility
The words the doctor said
Hit the nail on the head
It is my fault you hurt a girl today
I guess you didn’t know another way
And gently the tears run down
Falling from my face without a sound.

Shattered Glass

The symbolism of glass
Gets to me sometimes
Its ability to pain
And how it  
Presistently remains
Poetry encompasses
The power of that shard
It envelopes all my meaning
And leaves behind ugly scars
But today the glass really shattered
Among the toys and litter
And the taste it left inside my mind
Was disgusting, sour, and bitter
And the poetry
Not severe
Not as potent
When I really was able to fear
But where were you
When the shards
Really gouged a hole inside of me
You were pretending again
Wishing you were someone else
Who had never met me

Leaving

Am I really so transparent
My tear does not run down
It doesn’t hit your heart
And falls without a sound
Am I really so pathetic
My heartbeat doesn’t send
A tremor down your spine
The way that once it did
How can you fail to understand
The fears that bind my feet
And fail to comprehend
Why I admit defeat
My world is not a play
With a happy ending within
Instead it is a nightmare
Full of pain, lies, and chagrin
Will tomorrow bring emotion
Hope from your uncaring soul
Or will it be void of devotion
Love and self-control
I wish you to understand
To view the hell that I see
To live my daily life
Make you be all that is me
I know that you fail to understand
The life it is I lead
But maybe through my eyes
You will witness why I flee

Liar

LIAR…
FUCKING LIAR

How dare you look at me and pretend that it is all okay
A CUNT. 
Is that all that I have come to be?
A stain across your clean white shirt
Chaste with you but not every pervert
You question my purity
See me soiled with another man’s seed
But you have been the only one
To plant a tree in me
Screw you and your discrepancies
Fuck your selfish hesitation
If I am to become a whore
Shouldn’t I live up to the reputation?

Deem it untruthful
And I will ignore
Pronounce it as fact
And we are no more