Abortion

There was this sinking feeling today.
This dreaded thump of each heartbeat.
A slow and steady rush that was once welcomed but now seems tainted.
Where has your perfection gone?
The hopes and dreams dashed upon the ultrasound screen.
There is this scream inside my head that ignores my soul.
How can my heart love you so much but my mind falter at the words?
And always this echo
“If we had known sooner you could have had an abortion”
Each flutter is a reminder of my guilt
A reminder of my fear
And constantly I think I must be the brain damaged one.

Lost

My sorrow remains unclimatic
As the pain simply fails to peak
Your joy dissolves into my heartache
A piece of you that refuses to fade.
There were days that I adored you
Idolized you as the sun
Found peace and comfort in you
Held on for much too long.
Swollen tears of frustration
Inconsistent heartbeats lost
Failed hopes and dreams adorn me
Reminders of my weakest part.