Block

Step, block
A twisting road of hate and pain
A staccato dance we play
Both blocked with every step we take
Step, block
A forgotten give and take
And then someone simply walks away
Refusing to waste another day

Arden’s missing

For a whole ten minutes you were gone
Lost behind the shirts and pants
So caught up in your little game of play
Ignorant that I was not playing
For a  whole ten minutes the bile rose in my throat
And the panic continued to increase
As eyes searched despartly for little blonde hair
In between racks of blue jeans
For a whole ten minutes my infant hid
So far away from my arm’s reach
Playing his little game of hide and seek
Believing it all pretend

But now I hate me more than ever before
The mother I have come to be

Twice Now

Twice now I have glanced upon your moonstruck cheek
And have noticed tiny streams of depression there
Adulterated hatred where I have no ground to stand
Teardrops showing frustration beyond what you can bear
Twice now I have glanced into your eyes
And have found no love lingering there
No loving thought for me
Your heart lost in your emotional affair
Twice now I have touched your heart
Only to find it cold and silent to my passion
The once renegade tempo quiet and steady
Angry and tortured without compassion
And twice now I have held my heavy heart
Felt its dying pulse between bloody fingers
And gingerly I have pushed it back inside
Believing it safe I now foolishly linger

Baby Girl

I woke today thinking of you
Sometimes it tortures me so
The constant what-if and I wonder what
My wondering makes me ill
Keeps this knot in my throat
Even now
I wonder
Were you my daughter?

My child

A tender tear
Carried ashes on summer’s breath
Good bye, sweet child

Childhood Sleep

Star dust lingers through eyelids heavy
Dew soaked and twilight encased
Silent dreams filter through Spiderman bedding
Fears and worries in your head are replaced
In your dreams you are equals still
Neither worse or better than another
And gaping wounds begin heal
Within the grasp of the loving mother

But sadly silent dreams begin to fade
In the garish light of each new day

Prophet Isaiah

Mommy, I’m sad and I don’t know why
Today I just want to lay in bed and cry
There’s this lump in my chest that wont go away
God won’t remove it even though I pray
And so the child lays down to rest
And I sit there tormented in my cloud of stress
Consumed in his bought of sadness still
Failing to understand his childish will
And slowly day turns into night
And I think that he will be alright
But then he says in his little whine
Mommy, I hope the kids will be fine
And I look at him in confusion ridden
Hoping my fears have remained hidden
And so I send him upstairs to get in his bed
Promising his fears are just in his head
And it took me awhile to gain insight
Sitting down to watch the news last night
Then I understood what he had talked about
The images I saw left little doubt
This little prophetic child of mine
Who had wept for these people before it was time