Misbegotten

You caressed her skin with this finger
You felt her breath beneath you
Inside her is where you lingered
But you refuse to admit your transgression
Believing it instead a dream
A consequence of your aggression
A single night of play
Why do you insist on lying to me?
You play me as the fool
I excepted your decision
He is your son you ignorant man
Whether you deny him or not
Why can you not enjoy him
And thank God for all that you’ve got?

Pointless

With the thought of you held against my breast
I soared above the clouds
I flew like the wind to you
Adorned you with my love
For a while you humored me
loved me, held me
And then the demon of the soul
Ravaged you and stole away your love
Replacing it with hate for me
Contentment
The woman to do the chores I have become
Not the soul-mate that you sought
One to wash and mend your socks
Instead of seeing me for me
You only see my uncertainties
And because of me you are not yourself
Locked instead in a cloud of doubt
You need me no more
Of this I am aware
But I still stand here
Fallen now and resting by your feet
Waiting for you to stomp

Arden

The first winter has come since you went away
The snow has piled high above your grave
I miss your eyes, the window to your soul
The love you held for all you knew
I wish I could bring you back again
So you could be our best friend
You meant so much to us its true
And now within your departing wake
We are left barren, sadden, sick and afraid
Scared of the unshattered silence that you have made
Please help to take away this fear
Even though you are too far away to care

I miss you Grandpa

chores

One quick little note to organize my thoughts
To sum up the day in a matter of jots:

Diapers, dishes, donuts, dancing
Crying, screaming, fighting, cussing
I hate you
You hate me
Stand in the corner till I get to three
Captain Crunch and Batman
Sesame Street too
Laundry, and sweeping
I think I love you

I think that’s about right
When is it that you will fit again?
Be a part of my adventure
Become my best friend
I am afraid things will only get worse
Because your world is full of words
And mine is full of thoughts

Laundry

The laundry has piled up high this time
A sea of dark and light
I have no energy for the wash this time
You have stolen all of it tonight
You say that I am below you
Too stupid to understand
A second wife you scream to me
She can be the lover, I can be the friend
Is that what you want me to be?
The friend
The one you turn to when the world kicks your ass
Why is it that you still wish to pretend?

And so the laundry is waist high in spots
I do not awake from the depression
And you refuse to awaken me
Because I am just not on your level.

Ears

Your ears are like chocolate to me
Sweet little morsels
Tender indulgences
Worthy of nibbling on
And as I place those perfect little lobes against my lips
The squeals that fill my own ears are sweeter than any candy
Your giggles are my drug
Making you happy my poision
And within the laughter of my infant son
I can hear the angels sing
Thank you God for my new addiction

Eating the pain

How is that your pain can consume me so?
Leave me breathless
Hurt me more than my own
I live as though an outsider to myself
Never focusing on the here and now
Living as though a ghost
But your pain
It burns my soul
Creates a hole in me to be filled up with sadness
I can not separate you from your pain
And so I separate from you
Is that not terrible for me to do?
It seems that I have become an emotional whore
Lost
I wish I could take away your pain
But I can not
So it is you I gently push away
I am sorry lover
Sorry

My missing muse

I’ve fallen into the world of jumbled prose again
Lost among the verbs and acronyms
But this time the words are stuck on the end of my pen
Refusing to write themselves as they once did
It seems my muse has strayed away from me
Encapsulated by a world I do not comprehend
Nothing seems to release the words that are blocked
A jab of the pen brings nothing but a blot
I cry a silent tear for you
I miss you friend
And pray for your return
So I may find creativity again.

Tarnished by the rain

Swallowed by the desires of man
You fail to see me clearly.
Falling from heaven you miss my arms
And hit the Earth
with a force of hundred horses stampeding.
How is it I can never catch you when you fall?
Perhaps it is that we are not the same
Too independent, too unique
Lost inside our selfish yearns.
I gave my heart, my greatest treasure,
Freely, too freely
Leaving it by your front door.
Lost inside my treasure
You never sought for very much more
But now I have become tarnished and lame.
Upon your front stoop my treasure is nothing more than junk
An object of consequence
Melting in the rain.
I seek to help you mend the pain
But I can not understand your torture
When you refuse to let it consume me.

My Fall From Grace

I miss the sun.  It is so cold and alone in the dark of the moon.  Forgotten, mistaken for an unlit star.  I wish that you could see me now, staring out at you.  Seeking to yet again find your warmth and your light.  I understand your reasons for banishment.  I was unworthy to live in your sight.  But now, have I not suffered enough?  Basked in the frozen world of emptiness.  Suffered for you.  Forgive me now.  Or shall I watch in silence for eternity while the universe swirls around you, loving you?  Forgive me sun.